Have you ever meet someone like Lucy? Do you think she is lying? If you do, never push her to give you the real answer.
Lucy reminds me about my favorite book of Jung’s Model. Carl Jung –the first creator of the best known psychological concepts– concluded short explanation about quiet person.
The introvert is not forthcoming, she is as though in continual retreat before the object. She holds aloof from external happenings, does not join in, has a distinct dislike of society as soon as she finds himself among too many people. In a large gathering she feels lonely and lost. The more crowded it is, the greater becomes her resistance. She is not in the least “with it,” and has no love of enthusiastic get-togethers. She is not a good mixer. What she does, she does in her own way, barricading herself against influences from outside.
She is easily mistrustful, self-willed, often suffers from inferiority feelings and for this reason is also envious. She confronts the world with an elaborate defensive system compounded of scrupulosity, pedantry, frugality, cautiousness, painful conscientiousness, stiff-lipped rectitude, politeness, and open-eyed distrust.
Under normal conditions she is pessimistic and worried, because the world and human beings are not in the least good but crush her.
(Sharp, Daryl. 1987. Jung’s Model of Typology Studies in Jungian Psychology)
When Lucy was a child her parent moved to new house. They found Lucy made her first attempts to walk only after she had learned the names of all the objects in the room she might be touch. In her first school, Lucy chose to stay at her desk and finish her drawing rather than socialize with the other children. Her parent worried she would be a shy person someday. The shy child wants to join the other children but remains at their desk because they’re afraid to join them. But Lucy was never afraid. She just found being with all the other children is stressful and drawing is more fun. Lucy isn’t shy, she is just introvert.
I don’t want to talk about introvert. I want to talk about how introvert think. Remember you accuse Lucy as a fake person who never give you her real answer. Let’s see another point of view. Do the ten second rule. Lucy always has ten second to think. When you ask her “Where are you going?” It’s just like hold a moment I’m processing. All you need to do is wait and start counting (maybe to ten). Voila, you have her answer.
The answer depends on whom Lucy talks. It depends on you. the “Home, I’m just tired.” is her final answer. It doesn’t mean she hates you. She just decided not to share the real information about why she’s going early. It means for now she doesn’t trust you. Or just preventing the next question coming from you. Respect her.
One day, I heard my friend complaining about impulsiveness. It’s about his friend Amy. One day he made an appointment with Amy to meet at 6 p.m. in Coffee Shop. Amy texted him at 5.55 p.m. asking to change the plan. He read Amy’s text just after he ordered Hot Chocolate.
My other friend, Jack got scholarship interview. The interviewer said Jack is a rush person. He answer all the questions very quick. Just like he is revealing every corner of his brain including unimportant information about how he thought of his worst teacher’s teaching.
Why we don’t think like introvert? Not about “stay here area“, it’s about the “ten second” rule. When Amy being asked about appointment, she may think before answering it. Find out all possible situation. Then release the answer. And Jack has to become a calm person who give the interviewer his very best answers.
“Five percent of the people think;
ten percent of the people think they think;
and the other eighty-five percent would rather die than think.”
― Thomas A. Edison
The thinking mechanism is nice and simple. It’s nothing but suggestion to think before act. Allow your brain to do its task. Then it will surprise you.